“Wearable technology”: another of those futuristically empty phrases currently doing the rounds in a vain attempt to whip up some enthusiasm for objects that do things none of us ever actually desired them to do in the first place. When did you ever care that your trousers couldn’t communicate with your laptop over the internet to remind it to order more washing powder, after you’ve just knocked your lunch in to your lap?
Aside from any discussion as to the pointlessness or otherwise of these smart clothes, the phrase itself hardly defines a new idea. Isn’t the 99p wristwatch you can buy from the petrol station as a reward if you fill up your tank also wearable technology? It’s technology. You wear it. It’s like houses sold at a premium on account of having been “architect designed”. As my mum points out, aren’t all houses designed by architects?
Anyhoo, Google wants “in” on the whole wearable technology thang, “observers” are observing. The latest Android software development is apparently tailored (boom, boom) to suit wearable technology, boosting the rumours that the company is poised to launch its own smartwatch, codenamed Google Gem, later this year. Oh, happy day. It’ll doubtless perform myriad zippy zappy functions on your behalf, the bulk of which will be completely useless and unnecessary. Who on earth wants to be bullied by their socks over the way they walk?
Naturally, given our predeliction for all things relentlessly futuristic, E&T is all over this wearable tech business, with our latest feature looking at how nanomaterials could revolutionise the fashion industry. Get in on the ground floor of wearable tech with us, before you become too uncool for words.
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