#BTPT #Bizarre theories and pointless #technologies: #smart #bikini, kettle, bottle and #plate

By Rebecca Northfield

Have you been planning your latest getaway this year to escape from the unpredictable British weather and embrace the sun, sun and more sun of exotic locations?

Well, the brains of the world have come up with some ‘smart’ technologies that will help you through the torture of your summer vacay.

Spinali Design bikini

You’re half naked on the beach and the sun is beaming down onto your skin. Your bikini is covering your modesty whilst you sunbathe, swim and generally frolic around. I’m assuming you are a woman – or a man, I’m very open – and you can’t remember the last time you put your sun lotion on. This is where the Spinali Design bikini comes in. What a miracle to beachgoers.

Check out these bikini's from the 1900s, hardly any sun cream needed!
Check out these bikini’s from the 1900s, hardly any sun cream needed!

A smart UV sensor registers when you need to slap on some more sun lotion or when to move out of the harmful rays depending on your skin type. The information is sent to an app on your phone so you’re alerted. Not that you’d know that applying sun lotion regularly in sunny conditions is recommended by pretty much everyone.

I really need this useful invention, otherwise I’m just going to lie in the midday sun with no protection whatsoever and let the rays burn me to a crisp.

Have a look if you want to invest around £110 on a piece of material: www.spinali-design.com

HidrateMe water bottle

Another thing to keep in mind when exposed to the sun: hydration. When it gets warmer, you need to drink more fluids. Simple. You listen to your body. When you’re thirsty, have a drink. Plus, we’ve been told so many times that two and a half to three litres of water a day is recommended for the average adult. We’re made of 50 to 75 per cent water anyway, so it makes sense to drink quite a bit to give us that dewy glow.

HidrateMe is smart water bottle funded by the Kickstarter campaign. It tracks how much you drink and glows when you need to drink more. There’s also an app that tracks your location and adjusts the water consumption according to conditions. Great, thank you for the glowing, annoying reminder.

I think I need to lie down.

The classic disposable water bottle
The classic disposable water bottle

It’s all about being a sensible human being. You don’t need me to tell you that.

If you want to introduce more fluids into your lifestyle, you make a conscientious effort. You don’t start giving into gimmicks and spending money on something you can do for free.

Visit www.kickstarter.com/projects/582920317/hidrateme-smart-water-bottle if you want to donate to this worthy cause. Please help the hopeless.


More on hydration, the iKettle is pretty much what it says on the tin. You use an app on your phone to turn the smart kettle on. It’s WiFi enabled and allows you to get on with other things, rather than switching on the kettle when you fancy a cuppa.

You know, because it takes such an effort to walk to the kitchen and use your finger to turn the kettle on. So. Much. Effort.

A nice cuppa! Not from a smart kettle
A nice cuppa! Not from a smart kettle

Wait! What if you’re in the garden and want to spend those few precious moments basking in the sun in your Spinali bikini? What if you’ve just got home, but you’re not out of your car, so you need to get your phone and activate the app and tell it to turn the kettle on for a brew. It’s so timesaving; I don’t know why it wasn’t thought of earlier. Probably because people weren’t so bone idle.

Check out the £100 kettle here: www.johnlewis.com/ikettle-wi-fi-kettle-silver/p1725746


As you buy your lazy-boy kettle, you should invest in a SmartPlate while you’re at it. I bet you can guess what it’s about.

That’s right. It analyses your food for you so you don’t have to.

The plate uses weight sensors and cameras and utilises the companion app on your phone to study your food. The plate breaks down the items by calories, carbohydrates, proteins, fats and sodium.

Right, okay. I’d rather not be nagged by my crockery.

If you’re making an effort to be healthier, then you’d work out your intakes by yourself, like you traditionally do.

It’s just a gimmick and a lazy way to be healthier.

It's all about moderation.
It’s all about moderation.

If someone needs a SmartPlate to control their food intake, then they would probably find a way to cheat it. Like having plates on the side.

It’s another thing that will make money because people are always ‘trying’ to be healthier. I expect a boom in sales in the New Year.

Buy your own ridiculous kitchen item: http://getsmartplate.com/





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